Meike Schrut

Dream of a woman (10)

And something else happened with the unreal: what she would never have anticipated because it was absolutely unusual with unreal figures: the complete chaos in his thought increased more and more, the more he tried to adapt to the other I what was almost impossible, internally already not, because: the other was riper, cheekier and had just despaired anything but. So often he saw in different mirrors, he saw himself always forever young, almost innocently appearing, just smooth. “We can change that what seems to You strangely quickly. He carries short or no hair? Then I let You look just so and we not even need in addition a mask.”

“If all that is so easy and light, there must be a hook.” “How do you come then there scuffle? There is here only one hook for You: what you will also do always: Immortality can also be a load, also the present lack of feeling and empathy. Up to now because I have got: You really think to Yourselves around that person whom you virtually show, to the other unreal figures here and in other unreal worlds this makes no difference quite, astonishingly, even for me.” “I am sorry that it struck You, I did not want to endanger the work and if I have done this, I will change this.” She smiled pacifying. “Nothing there! So how you can feel now, you should maintain this, the public on the other side will hardly ascertain the difference between You and the other I. Is very much in order.”

He indicated at one of the floating armchairs and asked to be allowed to sit down. “Of course, you do not need ask.” She bit the lip, cursed herself. Yes, she had so got him now as she had always wished him in the dream and already in that of all first dangerous day dream: when she had seen any very sad film and howled like a castle dog, she felt like a peculiar hot wave in her one new kind of thought released, it was as if another being spoke to her: ”Then wish him young, for good young, but the original will thereby lose.” “Then it should lose, to me all the same.” This had talked them according to to itself and because at that time nobody was present, it also surprised nobody. Then this appeared with the disastrous reflecting effect.

She looked at this younger being carefully, his blue eyes on them directed were stretched. Whether did he probably think that here everything depended on her? She stopped short when he said without connection: “To Me struck that beyond the studios no birds sing.” “They are not able also, I have wasted on it no thought, they can sing only if I put down it on the book of the events what I will do straight away. And this not only, so that it does not strike You any more negatively.” “I have only come, actually to ask whether have your one new job for me.” “Yes, that I have.” She stepped near a fluorescent shelve, pulled out a container from variously colours and unfolded a transparent cloth which became bigger and bigger before her eyes and baggier. She smiled when she saw his astonishment. “This cloth is nothing else than your protection in the real world. You will have got that many people do not recognise the perfect copy of the other in You at all, they hold You for the real and I do not want this in such a way, original must always remain an original, but even I offend against unwritten laws. You will stay certain time in his immediate nearness, he may also appeal to You, but you may not do at the same time the same like he, but it can happen that you again one become with him and, nevertheless, I accept, you do not want this?” “I feel fine here, actually, surely.” “Nevertheless, there I am calmed very much. The cloth will hold invisibly around You be around and all injurious environmental materials, these would be also killing and I want to have You safely here back.” “Why must I appear generally now already in his nearness?” She whipped a black book in which before his eyes letters appeared: the unreal world is put on the head if one does not bring near itself to the other.

“Calms You, it puts out just once the time span of 48 hours what seems to be here 1 day, 2 days are to be drunk over here, you need neither, nor to eat, but may do of course all this what people are in habit to do, speak, if possibly, with him, it could not strike him that you have precisely his voice, only that she is more purely and clearer still.” In her the abusive 2nd voice further spoke: ”and that every word of You must bring women and girls around the mind.” “No special job?” if he interfered with her rest. She shook the head and put down to him the cloth which did not stick closely in him, but how a bubble flew around him. The air in this cover was so clean and purer than he could feel him himself here. It let him laugh pleasedly. And suddenly she knew it: his almost boyish laughter let them so awfully swarm for him. Although she might never get to know the other during quite young years. She knew: this was be happy, lighthearted laughter, it did her tears of the vibration in the eyes... Escaped him that she bent even deeper over another book, he might not have read the title, he was: What may never happen. “Goes and comes healthy again.” He heard something sad out, however, did not know how to arrange it. Here after a deep bow - finally, she was the uncrowned queen - the bubble with over on the other side took him, carried him to those people who were close to the other being.

Why was she sad then? In the 1st line because it would become only very blurred him can see and also no influence on his activities had. To 2.: if he was away, she lacked something: he had already become a part theirs itself. Not to load a curse on himself - although: she did not believe so surely in curses - it wanted to hold him if possibly, nicely on distance. On a continuing basis this might not certainly succeed. And she did not know whether she should envy him: she had loved the real once more and she had called this love admiration. As long as, until he appeared in every night dream and it also seemed as if he spoke to her. However, moved she did not want to become and now it felt well in such a way as it was: however, her feeling world was not whole yet in order this would already become.

The book of the happened things or the events had continued them, it struck, nobody except to her might put down there something. Made easier she sat down before one of the empty mirrors, closed the eyes. But the rest did not last long. Something reverberated in her - she believed then she listened more exactly and properly: the envoy asked into immediately three languages: in German, in English and in French after. She spoke in the mirror before herself: ”What do you not manage?” “Which language I should use, it turns everything in a mess in my head, I take up too many information.” “No miracle.” She anticipated what this lay with: all cells in his head and his remaining body soaked up like a sponge. “Speak the language of the respective country, becomes easily possibly his.” He thanked voluble and she lighted joss stick. Their quiet time of about 5 hours began just, a time in which she might interfere nobody. Since now she scooped strength, the people, otherwise, only in the sleep gained. Around them surged a fluorescent cloth which joined in they with all kinds of tones in her trance.

Then something happened what she could not explain herself. She followed as a soul the other as if she wants to protect him. So much she also defended herself against it: her soul took the fluorescent cloth which was perceived in the human world as a coloured fog and she bumped against his bubble which surrounded him himself. When he asked in thoughts what this is, she answered to him: “When I tried to relax, my soul was carried away to You. I must briefly look around to understand what should have it for a sense.” They moved towards a theatre where his other I gave autographs. The amount whispered amazed when he positioned himself by the way in addition. Nervously he bound his brown lock mane to a plait and smiled innocently, until very much a young woman asked whether she could get an autograph also from him. The picture which it held out to him showed him, but a little older. He signed with a loose manuscript which resembled that of the man when he was younger. The woman thanked surprised and passed the already signed autograph photo to the other. “Should I also sign? Nevertheless, is already happen, does not know about whom, but why not.” He glided confused over the writing and something said in him: ”It is your writing when you were about 10 years younger, does not doubt this.” He looked up, but the other man had stepped indiscernibly behind him and asked whether a little bit was not right. “No, everything in order, I knows.”

Before the younger could surprise, she answered fast: ”I do not know whether this is a bluff, he cannot know it at all.” What she could not anticipate: the real heard in himself her very female, dark voice a little bit mystically (thus in the melodic kind from "Avalon" - to a film in which a woman sings so that one almost forgets past and future), however, very clearly and he answered to her in thoughts: ”Who you also always is, woman, 10 years ago I looked in a mirror which seemed to rob of a part of my strength me. Seemed not only, it happened really. I have smashed the mirror, have seldom been glad since that time.” “This might fall in the time of the sadness, you want to get rid of the peculiar melancholy certainly with pleasure?” “I would become with pleasure.” “However, will not go, because your other I the carefree nature and also the cheerfulness took.”

He broke off the autograph hour, wanted to do something else in his cloakroom. The invisible and the other followed him, he had sunk so into himself that he ordered no stop to the younger smiling man. In his cloakroom he looked thoughtfully for several minutes in the mirror. “One can fetch back the reflecting parts from the past again, however, goes only from my other world.” “Then you would get these parts?” “A time can continue, because I do not know which access you have smashed, the reflecting worlds have divided since that time in the infinite.” “No hope?” “Patience.” Afterwards the artist heard nothing more and also his other I left him after a very light bow, because finally, he bowed anyhow to himself. What she had not said him: he so felt well in the roles of the forever sad that it was uncertain whether he achieved also this success as a cheerful man. “You have lied to him?” She heard the other voice and affirmed. “All destroyed mirrors are stored in my world at the place of many lakes. And his I will not specially pick out there, has other fish to fry.”

A part of the dream also consists in it: how one can long for something what one could not see in reality and hear: the former being, the former character of a man whom this described woman loved once or meant to love.Authors comment


All rights belong to its author. It was published on by demand of Meike Schrut.
Published on on 13.10.2009.


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